


Gay or European?

by orphan_account



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Alternate Universe - Legally Blonde Fusion, Everyone Is Gay, Legally Blonde References, M/M, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:07:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22995199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's literally just a parody of is he gay or European from illegally blonde. I thought it was funny at 1 am.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley & Elder Thomas, Elder Church/Elder Thomas (Book of Mormon Musical)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Gay or European?

The Elders of Uganda were enjoying their day off that their district leader had graciously granted them. To celebrate they invited Nabulungi a close friend to all of them. A low hum hung over the room as they all chatted with their respective companions. 

Things had changed around their little hut, the 'turn it off motto was no longer being put in place due to Elder McKinley, or Connor had finally come out as gay to the group. With his courage and added encouragement some of the other elders had come out, specifically poptarts and James. 

Nevertheless the recent talk was all about Elder Price. The question being whether or not he was gay. Of course he wasn't the flamboyant type, but it wasn't completely of the table. Since day one he seemed uncomfortable with the 'turn it off' motto. He had also shown no interest in any of the village girls. All the elders could more or less agree he had to be something other than straight. All except for Connor. He was rather close with Kevin now, and even after all their bugging he refused to agree with them. 

It drove Poptarts up the wall.  
So much so to the point that he was ranting to James, "I swear it to you, hes gay! There is no other explanation!" 

James thought all the talk was rather ridiculous and he'd rather not think about it. 

Poptarts glanced across the room at Kevin who was sitting between Nabulungi and Arnold. As suspected he was looking over at Connor, smiling flirtatiously.

"There! Right there!" Poptarts whisperd to James nodding his head towards the two. 

"What do you mean?" James whispered back.

Poptarts rolled his eyes "Look at his clear skin! This dude's in killer shape! Jesus hes even got the slight stubble on his chin, he looks so gay, hes definently gay!" Poptarts whisper yelled at him, causing Michaels Neeley and Schrader to glance over. 

James pondered the thought a moment before speaking "I'm not about to jump on every little trait, saying hes gay, Kevin's straight not gay. He said so himself." 

Elder Neeley leaned in and muttered " That's the elephant in the room. The golden question." They all groaned, muttering over the topic. 

"Is it really fair to assume that some guy who wears perfume and stuff is gay?" Said Elder Schrader. They couldnt exactly fight with that, 

"But look at his hair!" Whispered micheals. 

"And the lack of socks too!" Pointed out Poptarts. They murmured in thought. 

Neeley sighed "Jesus, look at this!" He slumped in his seat.   
"Look at what?" Micheals asked.

Neeley rubbed his brow, "Is he gay or just European!?" He whisperd a little to loudly causing The other elders and Nabalungi to look over. A couple of "Oh's! And that makes sense" came from their small group.

"So is like is family from Europe then or.." micheals asked trailing off.

"Its hard to garuntee.." whispered Schrader, glancing over at Poptarts.

"They raise their kids differently there, in Europe I hear they wear little tiny shorts in sports." commented James, who was now actually interested in the topic.

"Its gonna take weeks to really know.." Schrader murmured.

"Ya know they both say stuff like Ciao Bella while kissing you, the way the French do! You know on both cheeks!" Micheals excitedly whispered. 

"Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.." James quietly countered. 

They observed Kevin as a knowing playful smirk fell upon his features. "There look! there!" James nodded in Kevin's direction.  
"Look at his condescending smirk, I have seen it on ten too many straight guys before. That's a trait only the heteros posses. No way hes gay!" The elders nodded a little in agreement. They watched as Kevin smiled at Connor looking at him as if he hung the moon and stars.

Poptarts whispered back in response to the scene "Hes automatically radically, ironically chronically, certain flirtingly, genetically medically-" micheals and Neeley cut him off.

"GAY! Officially gay! Officially gay, gay, gay!" The group quietly chanted as the watched Kevin interact flirtatiously with Connor, their excitement fell as kevin turned to Nabalungi and began playing with her hair. 

"Damnit!" Poptarts yelled out. 

Connor turned towards him, he could hear them loud and clear but he attempted to stay quiet. Connor shot him a look before returning to his conversation.

"Gay or European?" Neeley began the questioning again. 

"So stylish and relaxed!" Laughed micheals.

"I think his chest is waxed?" Questioned Schrader.

"Maybe hes culturally just diverse, I mean it's not that bad, if he wears a kilt or a purse." James whispered.

"Is he gay or just exotic?" Asked Neeley.

"He has no accent. But he does wear pointy toed shoes.." said Poptarts.  
Noises of question filled the group as they discussed. 

All the while Connor was listening in and could hear it all, he was on the verge of exploding.

"Wait a minuet!" Said Neeley, grabbing their attention, "I have an idea I would like to try.." he sat up and made direct eye contact with Kevin.

"So Elder Price...do you like Nabulungi?" He said knowing that Arnold and her were together in secret. 

Kevin looked mildly surprised "Y-yes." He said looking at Nabalungi for reassurance. She gave him a pitiful look. 

"And your first name is?"

"Kevin." He said relaxing a bit. 

"And your boyfriends name is?" Neeley asked off handedly.

"Connor." 

A gasp came from every part of the room.

"I-I mean, bestfriend! I thought you said bestfriend! Connor is my, best friend." He quickly yelled.

"You bastard!" Connor yelled from as he stood up.

"You lying bastard!" Connor yelled again. Gasps emitted from everyone in the room. 

Kevin sported a very hurt expression on his face.

"I won't cover for you anymore! Elders! I have a big announcement! Kevin is gay and European!" 

What's and woah filled the room. 

"So you can stop being a complete closet case! It's me, not her hes seeing! No matter what he says, I swear he never swings the other way." 

He stood in front of Kevin as the Elders soaked up the scene before them."You are so gay, you big parfait! Your a flaming one man cabaret!" 

"I'm straight!" Kevin yelled back desperately.

"You were not yesterday!" Connor yelled. 

Kevin blushed past his hair line. 

"So if I may, I'm proud to say hes gay!" Connor hugged the taller boy excitedly.

"And European!" James yelled. They all cheered in excitment.

"Fine okay! I'm gay!" Kevin yelled, Connor closed the space between the two pressing his lips against Kevin's and pushing him back against the couch.

"In your face James! I told you so!" Poptarts cheered.

James rolled his eyes and kissed the smaller boy, quieting his triumphant cheers.

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao hi. Hope someone reads this. Please I swear to god someone tell me that I'm not just crazy, Jesus fucking christ what did I just write. I got lazy with it so this is what your getting. Feel free to ask for anything any requests because I'm bored. Though I have honors classes so I might take a while to do them.😁😁😁😁  
> Xoxo Alex


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